cruel and kind
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what can't be said
Uli Schiefer taught me to cross my wrists at arms length in front of myself during take
off, in order to feel them drop abruptly when the plane's rear wheels lift from the
runway. I recall in addition to sharing various flying experiences, we spoke of family
during that flight.
We were flying to a work-related conference. Uli had been an interviewer when I was
applying for that position. He was a "key player," called upon to probe my background
regarding programming and databases. Although Uli left me feeling I had ineffectively
answered many questions, I was hired.
Our offices were just a few doors apart for over two years. Each time we worked
together, I felt we shared respect, but never full understanding. Although I
won an award for documentation based upon research
with Uli. I'm not certain he ever understood the magnitude of STC recognition, or why I
felt he was involved. Our odd mis-communication was mirrored one day when Uli called
me into his office to show off MP3 software he had written. Not being MP3-savvy at the
time, I was unable to provide him with knowledgable kudos for work he obviously thought
was exceptional.
Yet he was quite clear on my last day at the company.
Uli described me as "one of the surprise lay-offs," and volunteered to drive home
a piece of furniture that didn't fit in my sports car. Flattered beyond words. I very much hope
I thanked him.
Uli Schiefer lived near me, so in addition to the furniture, he brought his four year-old
Jessica to our baby shower the next day. She and another young guest drew pictures
for Gabriel, drawings we preserved in Gabriel's scrapbook. This was the last time Uli
socialized with us, though not for lack of invitation.
Tonight Deb and I uncharacteristically watched local news, because a neighbor told us
police had found four bodies near our home. The headline story tonight
1
2
reported high-tech worker Uli Schiefer was found dead in his Santa
Clara residence along with his wife and two daughters.
I appear to be developing an involuntary habit. Twice now I've yelled at the television
for informing me that people I knew are dead.
Police say early evidence suggests Tae, the wife/mother, was responsible. I've been
trying not to think of Uli's demeanor when he's both baffled and excited. You try it.
Sit in the corner and don't think of a white bear.
Deb stayed up late with me. I'm glad Deb met Uli, and his daughter. I never met two
of Deb's friends, lost in a murder/suicide the week she graduated from high school. All
night I've felt a strong need to telephone or email anyone worked with Uli, everyone
who knew Uli. Yet I have no clue what I would say.
"hello, baby," i said "hello" -elton john
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